Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The deal about friendship…

Taking a leaf out of the countless sms’, philosophies and definitions friendship has always been described as a ship which never sinks, an unbreakable bond, a relationship higher than any other, etc, etc, etc. but what I do not understand is what people call friendship and what actually defines it? (aren’t the two things the same???...I don’t know. If yes, then lemme know)
Setting all these countless theories apart, I guess the basis or essence of friendship lies
1. In the people involved in friendship.
2. The kind of mutual understanding they share.

According to me, friendship is more of a give and take relationship. But what’s more important is that the give and take should be of equal measure. I understand that maintaining such a fine balance is pretty difficult, so a slight imbalance is permitted (hehehe).
Friendship is all about sharing things, giving things, taking things and seeing to the other persons comfort. It’s not about only I give-give and you just take-take. It’s moreover also not about taking the other person for granted.
Given the scenario where 2 so-called friends have to make a trip to the same place for the same work having a travel time of 16hrs one way (it's actually a boy-girl scenario in which the boy is the friend of the girl, whether the inverse holds true is unknown). The duration of the stay would be 4 days. The boy somehow finds out the date the girl has booked her tickets for and books his accordingly just because of 2 reasons...
1. It’s boring to travel alone
2. They could meet each other since they haven’t for some time now.

The best part is that the girl has no clue about the boy’s travel details. He hasn’t told her so as to give her a surprise (after all the girl loves surprises). Though the girl has booked tickets according to her own convenience, the boy is surely going to miss a lot.

Finally the boy lands up taking the same journey as the girl (whether the girl was surprised is unknown…so I don’t know if the plan worked). 16hrs just flew by. It was a nice journey. Due to good fortune or rather misfortune, the work was complete on the same day. The girl had plans to spend time with her friends, while the boy had none.

In the process of the work getting done a small conversation broke out. It ended with the boy just leaving that room and the girl behind. That was the end of it.

Sometimes I wonder whether it’s actually possible for a boy and a girl to be just friends. Is it so difficult? For my peanut-sized brain this is a too big question. Probably the famous dialogue of the super hit film ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’ still holds water…”Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi bhi dost nahi ban sakte.” What irritates me is that why; why do girls always think that if a guy is being friendly with her means that he is after her? Don’t we guys have better and more constructive things to do? (I agree that there are some guys, but there are many girls who do the same). If a guy seems to be friendly with her, he is termed as to being after her. The moment he stops being friendly, she accuses him of being unfriendly. Strange….very strange.

Firstly I would like to make this very clear. We boys do not expect anything out of you. The only thing we probably want is that you be friendly with us. We too have our own plans and ambitions in life (so what if we don’t get as many marks as you'll do?). We do understand that you’ll have your own plans, you'll want to spend time with your friends...agreed, but I guess things can be said in a much nicer way.
Secondly, if a guy goes out of his own way and makes plans that match yours so that the both of you can make the journey without the other having to travel alone and getting bored in the process, though the boy has all to lose and the girl having literally none, learn to at least be appreciative of the fact. Don’t come up with a statement that, “I never told you to book tickets for the same day as me, that’s your mistake”. It’s irritating, it’s horrible to hear and moreover it’s painful.

Now going back to the incident. On the third day, the boy along with his friends happened to cross the girl. No hi’s, hello’s or even eye-contact was made by the boy (I guess someday you learn you're lessons, even if you’re a slow learner like this boy). On the journey back home, the boy and the girl are seated in totally different compartments (probably it was destined). The girl sends a sms asking the boy as to where is he seated? The boy promptly replies. The girl rings him up and asks him to join him on her seat. The boy bored of sitting all alone with nothing to do, somehow does away with it. Instead for sometime he catches up on his other friend who’s in the next compartment and travelling with family. The girl (probably figuring out that the boy is not coming there) again calls and asks for the boy’s whereabouts. The boy replies that he’s on his seat and making arrangements for dinner so he won’t be able to make it there. The girl then lands up on the boy’s seat and kick starts a small chat. The girl mentions to the boy that she’s getting bored there sitting all alone (wasn’t this the same person who always likes travelling alone, isn’t boring her cup of tea???). The girl then asks the question whether the boy was angry with her??? (are we boys some kind of hooters that are supposed to blow whenever we are angry so as to let you know….cant you'll just sense it the way we probably do). The boy answers in the negative. More questions were asked by the girl, which the boy answered in QnA format (it’s where an answer is given that’s just apt for the question. No extra info is given). After the chat, the girl went back to her place. The next morning they were at their own destinations.

As I said in the beginning friendship is all about giving and receiving in equal measure. Everytime it shouldn’t be the boy who puts in all the effort. If 2 people are sitting face to face (with the boy just to make himself heard is stretching himself) and there’s place near the boy, it makes sense that the girl occupies that seat rather than giving a lame excuse that “this is my seat” (I wonder what reservations are for). Surprisingly when the window seat is available the excuse vanishes into thin air. The boy shouldn’t always have to go up to the girl’s seat. The girl also should do it sometimes even if both of them are travelling in different classes i.e. the boy in sleeper and the girl in 3AC. Shockingly even here the boy has to go upto the girl. The reason here can be justified that the girl is in AC so the experience should be paisa vasool. But when the girl leads the boy outside the compartment in the non AC area it doesn’t make sense (probably the girl doesn’t want the boy to enjoy even a minute of AC…who knows???). Whenever a meet is arranged, the boy is supposed to be on time and not keep the girl waiting even for a minute. Otherwise she would leave. But it’s completely okay to keep the boy waiting (wonderful!!!). That’s why, probably its best for us boys to go alone somewhere even for a movie. I understand the movie may not be that fun watching alone. But at least there are no worries about what people may be thinking and no fears of lines that only hurt us and do nothing else.

At the end, if you have some girl who thinks in the same manner as the girl above then just tell her 1 line…
“Tumhari kismat itni bhi acchi nahi hain ki mujh jaisa ladka tere peeche pade”. I guess that will set the record straight.

Monday, July 27, 2009

I want a Girl-friend…

I always wished (I still wish….so what if the ban is lifted?) that I had a girl-friend. People may be wondering as to what’s with the hyphen? Well the hyphen is what makes all the difference. In computer programming lingo an explicit use of the hyphen is done so as to make the reader not get the wrong impression (wasn’t that the heading of an article I wrote some days back???.....bloody hell it’s just one article back…am I that irregular???). The hyphenated girlfriend means that a girl who’s your friend. (I guess everyone knows what the non-hyphenated girlfriend means).

There are many reasons for me to have this (strange for some) desire. Firstly it’s probably the things or rather qualities females have and bring along with them. The warmth, the care, the beauty, the support, the fun is just some of the many many things. We males seriously having got intertwined in our fast paced lives have forgotten to live. It’s ultimately the females that teach us how to live. I always remember my father always saying these words whenever my mother offers him a cup of tea after a hard day’s work, “There's nothing sweeter than a cup of tea offered to you by your wife or mother after a hard days work” (This line is actually my grand-fathers….my father probably uses it to just maska marofy my mother).

I remember having this chat with one of my closest friends. It was once that we were sipping over water-melon juice (that’s because I was paying, if it was from his side it would have been a cup of tea worth Rs.3/-). Amongst my frustration I said that I seriously wished that I had a girlfriend. Hearing this he asked me a simple question, “Do you want a girlfriend or a friend who’s a girl”. Well now to be honest, that question made me think (well all questions do….but still….). I answered that I want a friend who’s a girl. Well actually there are many reasons due to which I hold this view. Firstly, (now I don’t know how to put this) I am a very relationship inclined person. I would love to be in a relationship because probably along with that comes a sense of commitment. I tell you that when two people are committed to each other one doesn’t have to worry about anything on this planet. He knows he has someone to care for him, someone to lookout for him, someone to go somewhere with, someone just to share a joke with, moreover someone just to say things to without wanting an answer. That’s probably what happens when you want someone so desperately that you kind of become a hunter while all the single females on this planet become eligible prey’s (so next time you see decent guys eyeing girls…you know what they're going through). Now given this description about me and my feelings….what would you say if I told you that I’m brought up in a family in which getting married has certain criteria’s to be met?
1. The girl has to be a Christian (preferably Catholic)
2. She should be preferably Goan.

I remember the day (it was just the very next day after I had answered my Std.XII exams. That too the first thing in the morning…just imagine….my day had indeed started off with a bang). The moment my father cited the first condition my brain started doing the math and I swear the result was not appealing. Out of the 100% of India’s population that I could aim for, my chances had diminished to a mere 1.8% (Nelton, teri to lag gayi). On the 2nd condition my chances had dropped drastically to a mere 0.2% (thanks to the Goan diaspora and to my dad for not thinking about that clause otherwise the number would be infinitely small). So that's why I have left that job of finding a girlfriend to my parents and I’m instead searching for a girl-friend.

Secondly, I hate to see my friends taking their so-called girl-friends pillion while I have no one to do so (sob sob).

Well so now coming back to my chat, I said a girl-friend would be just right. During our chat we actually landed bringing up so many points as to why having a girl-friend is so important and more than that amazing. Other than the qualities I mentioned earlier, just by simply having a girl-friend you automatically begin understanding the opposite sex’s perspective. You see girls just don’t (and probably can’t) think as we boys do. Our make is absolutely different. (we are like Ferrari, they’re just some local brand…hehehe). We think, we analyze, we make decisions using our brain. With girls it’s the heart that does all this work. (That’s the reason that my sister always indirectly tortures me by switching over to programs like Balka Vadhu, Ladies Special and Uttaran while I am watching Numbers, 24 and Hustle). We boys just never see that which in certain cases is very important. (Probably like my father who always yelled at me given my preparation for the exam but my mother always encouraged me and told me to give my best).

Having girls in your friend circle always helps in the long run. The reason being you’ll never feel out of place in their company. You’ll automatically act in a very decent and respectable manner. (We guys hurl abuses at one another in good times as well as bad. Most of the times abuses are used instead of hi, hello and punctuation marks). Even more so, on seeing a good looking female in public you won’t get hyper and start behaving like a puppy that’s panting and desperate for something to drink.

Lastly, it’s a great feeling to take a pretty girl pillion right in front of your friends (you can actually smell something burning)

So keeping all these things in mind, I have come to the conclusion that I really want a girl-friend. Someone just like the Aditi-Jai friendship from ‘Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na’. The only questions are when will I have one and who will she be. Hoping for that day to come soon. (If there’s any girl reading this blog….hello, please get in touch with me asap).

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Water Woes

The importance of water is only known when you don’t have it. Though I’ve always known that, I’m just undergoing a revision.

I remember the days when I used to avoid taking bath daily. According to me taking bath daily is like one of the most boring things on the planet. To be honest it’s sometimes not essential. To my father and my sister taking bath is all about being fresh and hygienic, but to me taking bath daily is like wasting water and soap. I justify the need of taking bath after a long, tiring and sweaty day. But what if u haven’t even moved out of your house, haven’t got into any kind of physical activity and have not even shed a miniscule of fat? In fact I would advice taking bath either every alternate day or when the need truly arises. Due to my stand I’ve always been ridiculed by one and all. But I do land up giving a strong defense. Whenever anyone confronted me on this issue I would just state him two facts.
1. Take bath after 2 days and just sense the feeling. It’s truly amazing…
2. (the most thoughtful) Kach pada (it’s a slum area near to where I live) people are not getting water, think about them.

Well with all those days behind me and me taking bath every single day (it's just that now I get into much more physical activity than ever) these present days of water shortage have made me realize that somewhere probably down the line I must have seriously saved lot of water. I felt happy and contented that in some way I have helped a lot of Kach Pada people indirectly. However all my joys were dealt with a big blow the moment I saw Kach Pada people enjoying uninterrupted and free flowing water. Well now one may imagine as to how Is this possible? Well thanks to the cracks in the pipe line. I wonder why such things never happen near my locality.

So now thanks to no water, I’m stuck dirty, unshaven, and have a hell lot of matter in my tummy that’s just waiting for download. God save me. (It’s seriously shocking to note that it’s raining like cats and dogs outside) what luck??? Now will someone please open the water tank…

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